As a woman, person, human in today’s world I have fallen into today’s societal trap! And yes, I have fallen into this trap, claiming to be a “victim” to what “society” has dictated to me. I have been the judge of myself and others based on this “value system”. A “value system” that has made me a hypocrite, completely unhappy and ashamed to be alive.
The standard’s by which we are judged….
- What we eat,
- How we exercise,
- Drinking more water,
- Changing our wardrobe,
- Putting on more/less makeup,
- Getting plastic surgery or not,
- Moving cities,
- Changing jobs,
- Getting married,
- Go to church or not,
- Having 1,2-6 kids,
- Who we work for
- How successful is our business
- Having a college degree
- What college did you graduate
The list can go on and on…
Saying “Sorry” all the time, because Why? Because you are “ALIVE, and not living by these standards?!” Why are you worried about what other people are thinking and saying about you? And is it “their” fault that you choose to live or not live based on this flawed value system?
WHO’s FAULT IS IT?
Facebook, your peers, your parents, your spouse, your neighbors, the government, local politicians, a priest?
How many times have you experienced paralysis because you believe; “I am not measuring up”, unable to decide, can’t leave the house, can’t eat a meal, virtually unable to put on a pair of shoes…?!
Whether it is a weight on the scale, another person’s perception of us or a score given in general by society.
What is important? What should I value? How do I break free from this paralysis of a value system?
Let’s be real, as a fitness professional I have fallen into that trap of telling you I can fulfill those external dreams, making you feel valued based on;
- What you weigh,
- Awesome arms, butt, flat stomach
- How much you can lift,
- How far or fast you can run
- How you look in your jeans, dress, bathing suit
I have fallen into believing and still sometimes do, that I personally should be valued on those very things. So like you, I struggle with these values..
“…each one of us has a unique potential and purpose; that means that we’re the only ones that can evaluate and set terms of our lives. Far too often we look at other people to set the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose.” -Ryan Holiday Ego is the Enemy
It’s not sexy or appealing for me to tell you, that the results you get with a healthy lifestyle may be far greater emotionally and psychologically than any of the external physical results…
What “Holiday” is saying, there is no standard other than your own, being the best YOU that YOU can be. Rather than holding yourself back because you are not what “society” values, rather than being “paralyzed” by “not measuring up”;
Go out in this world and LIVE YOUR BEST, DO YOUR BEST, BE YOUR BEST.
It may not be the ideal of what “society” (Facebook, Your Parents, Your Priest, or even Your Spouse) is telling you … but guess what, SO WHAT!
By the way.. “If you can measure it, it’s probably not important” Dr. Brene Brown