“There is no way I can …”
Do push-ups, workout like that, do pull ups, lift that much weight, eat veggies and eggs or (just fill in with what you think is impossible) or keep from gaining weight every year.
I have heard this statement quite a bit in my life especially as a trainer.
This brings to mind a story in my own life, when I was learning how to drive. I knew I probably wouldn’t be required to parallel park to pass my test, so I never took the time to learn. My first 2 ½ years of driving I was able to get by with never having to parallel park.
And the very thought of parallel parking gave me nightmares of crushed doors, side mirrors ripped from the car frame or a crushed back panel of the car I was trying to park behind.
My nightmares were warranted given my lack of success in backing out of my own parent’s garage, I backed out like I was driving a bumper car, not a full size vehicle. Hence I was more than happy to walk quite a distance if I didn’t have to parallel park or back out of a garage. At the time it really didn’t have anything to do with getting extra exercise, it was all about not having to parallel park, because it was too hard.
Then I moved to an area where I didn’t have any choice but to parallel park. I had sheer panic attacks thinking about it, I never learned properly, so of course, I went about it all wrong. I would make sure it was the biggest spot I could get, then pull straight in. And if you know anything about parallel parking, you know that is the wrong way, you just can’t get close enough to the curb or you take up too much space for your car.
Let’s look at it this way, I already knew parallel parking was hard. And if I asked anyone about it “Do you think I can do it?” Or “How was it for you?” and they would tell me it’s not impossible but really hard, if they couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it, either.
Or maybe I would tell everyone even before doing it “I know I am not going to be able to do this, I never have been able to do it…”
Okay so let’s put it into this perspective, maybe you say that you can’t do push ups, pull ups or maybe it is eating more protein and veggies;
And this is what goes on in your head “Oh no I can’t do this, this is too hard, and there is NO WAY I can make it through another workout, there is no way I am going to be able to do this again…or maybe “I have never eaten veggies, they taste so nasty, I just won’t do it, it is too hard.”
BOOM… you have already decided, not possible for me, not even a chance.
I got to the point that I was asking my passengers to do it for me, since I was so bad. It really was not about doing it, it is about what I “believed” I was capable of doing.
And really it came down to, not because I couldn’t do it, it really was about never really knowing how to parallel park, I just never learned the proper way for me.
Okay so let’s talk about this being an adult thing, right. Outwardly I know I choose not to have a temper tantrum, first because my parents taught me it didn’t do any good, and also because I know it is not appropriate.
Yet, I have had moments of turning into that foot stomping, arms crossed child, all in my head, of course. And it all comes down to that fear thing, right?
Wow I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted when I play this scenario in my head. It is so much energy wasted, telling myself this is too hard, and I can’t do this!
I am all about convincing myself, “I am an adult I don’t have to do something I don’t want to do.” (foot stomp in my head of course)
So stomping my foot (in my head), not wanting to do this parallel parking thing, I had a passenger that was tired of doing the parking and taught me how to parallel park.
At first I had a few temper tantrums, and I said no, I can’t do this, it is too hard, I know I am going to hit the surrounding cars, rip off their mirrors, etc. But my teacher had enough patience to not make me nervous and helped me to get past my fear of doing it.
And guess what? I was able to properly back into a parallel parking spot! Okay after many attempts, it certainly wasn’t perfect, but that was OK, because I did it!
So here is the thing…
Are you still saying?
“Oh I have never been able to do that, so I am just telling you now I won’t be able to do that”
“No one has to force me to eat veggies now that I am adult!”
As a grown ass “adult” sometimes we need to differentiate ourselves from being that scared young child in order to get more out of our lives.
Now is the time to start listening to your “inner adult” and hear these words,
Yes this can be hard, but you can do this, and it will be so worth it.
It is the fear that is talking and steering you from what you want.
Take a deep breath and try it again, until it isn’t so hard anymore.
What can it hurt if you actually learn how to do it for you and find that you are getting results that help you become a better version of yourself.
And the moral to the story is this:
Before you do something don’t say you can’t do it, just because it is hard.
Now I have to parallel park every day in front of my house. It is still hard, but I know now that I can do it, because I have done it before.
So do that push up, eat your veggies (even if you put a little butter or cheese on them), do that pull up.
It may not be perfect but do it and continue to do it, because in the long run, it won’t be as hard as never getting what you want or getting the overall joy of doing something you never thought you could do.
“The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” –Chinese proverb
Is there something you struggle with maybe you think is too hard and just decided I will never do (fill in the blank)?
Or is there something that you have struggled with and are working on that you know is hard, but you are doing it, anyways for the possible benefit in the long run?
Would love to hear about it!! Please share your stories on my Jenn Brango Facebook page put them in the comments. Remember it may be hard to share your story, but maybe, just maybe your story will help someone else… and guys thank you so much for reading.