“In order to seek values, man must consider himself worthy of enjoying them.  In order to fight for happiness, he must consider himself worthy of happiness.”  Nathaniel Branden

Yes, BUT, What if??

When I hear someone say these words to me it makes me cringe from the inside out.  Because I know what they are saying to me, they are scared and can’t seem to get past the fear. This is a place of being stuck in the mud, and I have totally been there.  I have and still sometimes get paralyzed by the unknown, so terrified of the “what if’s.

It is also a place of safety, because “I told you I was going to fail”, “I told you it wasn’t going to work”, “I told you I was not worthy of success or happiness.”

Yep that is right, I certainly did tell myself these things.  Which means I have to go back to hiding behind my “what if’s” or do I learn from it?  Or do I keep staying status quo because I believe that is all I deserve?

I love listening to the song “Live like you are dying” by Tim McGraw, when I am in this place of being stuck, frightened to move, based on my “What if’s”.  This song epitomizes a wakeup call to me, it resonates with my need to live everyday AS IF, rather than WHAT If…

Look I have had quite a few wake up calls in my life.  However, how I reacted and saw each one always seemed to be a little different.  What drove my reaction was my belief system, of whether I was “worthy” of something better, like true happiness.

In my blog The day I got B$%ch Slapped,  I was living a life of “Yes, but, What if..”, and it took 3 defining wake up calls for me to start living my life, “As If”.

As Tal Ben Shahar says “When we do not accept our inherent worth, we ignore or actively undermine our talents, our potential, our joy, our accomplishments.”

What does that mean?  Does that mean that I purposely sabotaged myself because I felt like I was not worthy of true happiness?

Did I choose to be less than because I believed myself to be worthy of less?

Yes! It wasn’t apparent in the beginning that I was choosing less, or being less, it was just my station in life.  Then I started embracing life a little more each day, living “As If” and low and behold the things started shifting in the direction I never thought were possible.

This is when I started choosing to “live” AS IF and still continue to choose to live “AS IF”.  What does that mean?  And what am I getting at??

As Tal states those that cannot find true happiness believe they are not worthy of happiness.  Somehow, someway we decide we are not worthy of being ultimately truly happy.  We choose to ignore our own ability to create true happiness, and choose to create misery regularly.  And yes I do believe that it is a choice.

How many times I believed that I was given a “life” sentence to be unhappy, to only realize that it was my choice to be unhappy.  And man when I realized it was always MY OWN CHOICE, … So now I choose much like the songs says, to “Live Like I am Dying” knowing that I am totally worthy of happiness.

How did I decide and choose to live my life “AS IF”?

  • We all deserve happiness it was me realizing I had the tools to be happy in me
    • When I was a kid, I found great joy in the simple things, exploring the woods, finding a tadpole or playing with my friends. So I took the pressure off myself to always be mature, right and perfect.  I revisited what brought me joy and happiness; the simple things and stopped being so serious all the time
  • Letting go of the scars
    • Sure I have been hurt throughout my life, yet I was allowing those hurts to control my ability to be happy. I was so fearful of getting hurt, I failed to risk that in order to seek greater happiness. 
    • Those scars represent me taking chances for greater happiness, believing I am worth happiness. That was me AS IF there will be no scars, and if there happens to be a little hurt that is okay too, because I was LIVING enough to risk getting a little hurt.
  • Learning to live and be happy in the moment
    • “Being present and engaged”; I recently heard this on a video I was watching by Brendan Burchard.  
      • Oh wow that totally resonates with me and living my life “As IF”.  There have been too many times that I decided well, when or if I get XYZ then I will be happy.  And guess what I missed the present moments because I can’t be happy until XYZ.  So now I live “AS IF”, I choose to be in the moments right now and find happiness right now.  Enjoy the people, places and experiences right now!

If you have been given a limited amount of time, would you truly, “LIVE”, now knowing you only had a few years, months or days left?

We all have an end date, are you waiting to know that date or are you willing to risk the “What if’s” and live “AS IF” you already know it?

As you read this do you feel you struggle with these things, much like I did?

Could you be living the “Yes but” life, like I have? Every week I talk about these kinds of struggles with my email inner circle.  If you are looking for solutions that can lead to greater happiness with your body, mind and spirit, Join Here