When should you quit and when are you just giving up?
My life lessons have taught me so much about myself. These lessons have given me insights into what I am willing to do to create the lifestyle I want.
My character for success or failure has been built on those things that have defined me and speak volumes to why I do what I do now.
It may seem crazy, my true character for success in anything I do, especially living a healthy fat loss lifestyle has been defined by the things I have quit and the things I have given up.
Here is where my confession comes in. I am a quitter!! Yes I have to admit I do quit a lot, but my reason for quitting has been what truly defines my success. My current success or failure with my own fat loss living came from me learning a lesson a long time ago as a 17 year old teenager.
Silly as it may seem I learned a lot about myself and how to live a healthy fat loss lifestyle after I quit (or really gave up on) the volleyball team.
I was a senior and I was picked for JV, there was no way was I going to be a senior on the JV team!! I deserved to be on the Varsity team with the other seniors.
It just wasn’t fair, I had to work all summer while the other girls practiced and conditioned for the season. They had an unfair advantage that the coach (in my mind) should have taken into consideration.
Just the year before I served a no hitter in a match against a pretty good team, that should amount to something, right.
Oh boy, reality would tell me, I didn’t deserve any spot on any team, because it wasn’t earned, not like the other girls. They worked hard all summer long, on their game, conditioning and getting better.
In all honesty it was definitely a fair decision made by my coaches. I didn’t work for a position on the varsity team, I was given a position on the JV team and truth be told, probably didn’t deserve that spot either.
So I quit!
I just gave up the sport, on a team I loved, because I didn’t feel I was being treated fairly. I didn’t get what I wanted and I choose not to do anything to fight for it. It was a tough pill to swallow as a senior, being picked for the JV Team.
And do I regret that decision? Well yes and no;
It took me quitting to realize several years later that I gave up too soon. If I really wanted to be on the varsity team, I should have worked my way onto that team.
“You don’t quit things that are tough, you quit things that make you miserable. There’s a difference, there” Jill Coleman. In other words stop doing the things that make you miserable. But don’t quit something just because it was hard, especially if it is in line with what you want, like a healthy fat loss lifestyle or being on the volleyball team .
Phew big lesson on my part. My immaturity in making this decision cost me something that I loved to do; for what? my ego, my belief that I deserved what I wanted. All I had to do was work for what I wanted but I choose not to do the work so I decided to just quit.
My 17 year old self gave up, I choose to blame my coaches and my teammates for not getting on the team. I threw in the towel, Why? Besides being an egotistical teenager I wasn’t ready to deal with what I know now.
Here are some keys things to take into consideration when you think you want to quit, that I didn’t consider as a teenager.
Expect it to be tough,
If you are in the process of trying to find your path when it comes to living a fat loss lifestyle, it isn’t always an easy road, it is a tricky business trying to lose fat and gain muscle.
How do you manage when you have no time to prepare your meals, get in your workouts, and you still have to be a contributing member of society (Spouse, Co-worker, Parent to name a few).
You are not always going to be happy with what you have to do, but if you stick with it, you will appreciate your efforts and ability to do the work If you can find happiness in knowing the road is not always going to be so tough; you may get some joy out of getting to do some of the tough stuff.
What I didn’t do as a teenager was figure the tough part into into my equation so I quit instead of dealing with the fact that life is not fair and it is tough sometimes.
Don’t expect something if you don’t put anything into it
How could I have been picked for Varsity if I didn’t do the work to be on Varsity. Let’s be real, if you don’t put in the effort to change you will not get any change. Do the work consistently and with focus, you will reap the benefits of your work.
And remember this may be tough at times. So quitting and not putting in the work is not the solution. Your desires cannot be achieved by giving up before you start or because you are not getting what you want.
As Theodore Roosevelt says “Nothing worth having was ever achieved without effort”
There will be bad days
The fact that I couldn’t handle being picked for JV was a bad day and I quit on the spot. I cried all the way home that day.
Yes you will forget your workout clothes, you may even miss a meal or eat a whole pie. What you need to remember one or two bad days should not break you from your dreams and desired outcomes.
Let’s be real you may even have a really crappy workout, SO WHAT, at least you are working out.
I have had clients quit because they had a bad day or maybe even two.
Maybe they were really sore or just can’t seem to get the food right or they are just focusing on the failure in their path. If you can understand that this is going to happen, especially in the beginning on a fat loss journey, you won’t be so caught off guard or surprised. You will expect these things to happen.
Think of it this way…
If you are a parent you should know this too well. Just because you have a bad day or bad days with your kids, doesn’t mean you quit being a parent.
LOOK at the bigger picture a long lasting healthy fat loss lifestyle.
If only I knew this when I heard the news I was on the JV team.
I might of been able to accept my position on the team, with my head high and worked harder to get on Varsity. One bad day should not have been the end to my volleyball days, but that is what I did, the day I quit.
Take ownership of your attitude and your actions, let go of your ego
I should have been totally grateful for the opportunity and thanked the coaches for letting me try out. Let alone putting me on any of the teams.
A big part of what I have realized, is my attitude at the time totally sucked and I believed I was right and the coaches were wrong. Guess what, it was all about my ego, not accepting the true reality and my responsibility to that reality.
I didn’t get what I wanted so I gave up. But what I didn’t see was my opportunity to still play a game I loved, it just had to be on JV.
Let’s be real if you want to maintain a fat loss lifestyle and you are not getting what you want with what you are doing now, maybe, just maybe, You, need to let go of your ego (control) and try something that could possibly work for you.
What stands out the most for me, is my perception of the circumstances. A bad attitude about anything is never going to lead to positive change. It is real simple.
Be the example and a leader
Big one here. I should have, as someone who was older, accepted my position gracefully while showing my teammates that I was thrilled and grateful to be playing with them.
This is what I know I need to do every day. No I am not perfect and that is what I choose to show all of you. Yes you can do this! It does take time, energy and work, but in the long run it totally pays off.
A little tough love here, Quitting is inevitable in our lives.
It is not the quitting that is the problem, it is the reason and motivation that differentiates the type of quitting that is necessary. There is quitting and then there is just plain giving up!
Now I will only quit something if I am working hard at it and it is making me miserable. This is where I realized the weight loss game was making me miserable, so I did quit that game. What I will always work hard on and never quit is my fat loss living.
Do you feel like you quit too soon, like I did my volleyball team?
Are you living and working toward your dreams today or are you giving up, because you are not willing to do the work? It is never too late to start again. Every week I offer up solutions to my inner circle email group, on ways to quit the dieting and stick to the healthy fat loss living. Join Here