“Finding is reserved for those that search.” — Jim Rohn

Not too long ago, I had a prospective client tell me, she was eating Honey Nut Cheerios every day for  two weeks straight, all day everyday.

Her trainer moved away and couldn’t tell her what to eat anymore. And she didn’t even like the cereal.

Is this normal? Is this ok? And why would she do something like this?

This happens a lot, and when a client comes to me and says, “I need your help just tell me what to do!” “Anything, I just can’t stand the way I look and feel right now!”

Why? The most go to answer is “I want to look good”

Why? Because… “I hate how my clothes fit me”, “How my wife/husband looks at me”,
“I can’t keep up with my kids”; “My body hurts a lot”; “I am not sleeping”


“I used to be an athlete, then I got married and I had kids and now I barely even walk around or get in my steps.”

“I was never athletic, but I at least wasn’t 20-30-50lbs overweight like I am now, and my body is starting to hurt.”

“I have always been overweight and I have tried so many things… but now I have a family and my Dr. is telling me, my health is starting to be go downhill.”

Okay…so is it really about “looking good”? Are you truly willing to “do anything?”

So if I told you to eat Honey Nut Cheerios for a week; promising you that you would look good in the end, would you?

At this point I would totally hope that you would say “NO”!!!!

Or if you did follow my “plan” would you say, “that crazy trainer Jenn told me to eat Honey Nut Cheerios for a week and I didn’t get any results… She’s crazy!”

But this is how it goes in this world of “diet, fitness, exercise and healthy living”. We look for someone else to “fix us”, we look for someone else to tell us what we need, want and must do. And guess what? Here you go on a silver platter! Cleanse, Elimination diet, Intermittent fasting, Paleo, Atkins, low fat, high fat, low carb, whole foods;

OH… none of those work? Why not try the Mono Meal Plan diet; where you are eating only one type of food all day everyday… (I personally choose bananas). And yes some of these do work, yet when they don’t… is it the plan?

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” — Jim Rohn

Here is the thing I totally get it, I even tried the banana only diet, because I have been there, desperate for the magical solution. Looking and seeking for someone, ANYONE…


My own sequence of events would usually start with, Oh no, I have been “bad” with my eating again, so I need to find another “solution” for my bad eating. Then I would try the next best thing. This is where the rubber hit the road for me, when I discovered that I just needed to stop!

I needed to take control of what was I doing… and stop being totally miserable. Yeah to some I looked awesome, but I had to dig a little deeper than the next best plan and really get down to why I was so desperate to look “good”.


IT wasn’t…

Societies fault for putting undue expectations on me as a woman to look a certain way.

The fact that I was a trainer and had to look or be a certain way.

My trainer friend’s fault for getting me to eat the banana’s only diet.

Tony Horton’s fault for creating P90X.

My husband’s fault for asking me “Are you really going to eat that?”

I had a reason for going crazy after every winter of overeating, I had a reason for wanting to feel good inside and out.

Just like my clients and all those prospective clients, I wanted somebody to tell me what to do because I just couldn’t stand it anymore.

And then the work started! Yes, I had to work hard to get my life back to where I wanted it to be.

When I started my true fat loss journey I was in my 20’s, after over 12 years of dieting, sure I knew how to lose weight. The bigger problem was I didn’t know how to keep it off and maintain some sanity about it all along the way.

Here are three key principles that I had to use in order to “Figure IT OUT”

Start with my why and keep that in the forefront of my mind. Because guess what the allure of the scale is going to draw me back in, the way the pants or clothes are fitting, can totally side track to the point of obsession. I have talked about where I was when I started my true fat loss journey in my 20’s in a my blog The DAY I GOT B$TCH SLAPPED. First and foremost, this was my why that I keep in the forefront of my mind every day.

GET CLEAR with what route to take and not blindly follow someone else’s perfect “plan”. 

This is where I truly discovered the clear difference between weight loss and fat loss, Long lasting results that is the biggest difference. No more desperation all the time, I can be happy with myself right now. I can go up or down on the scale. It is okay. My lean mass (yes muscle) that I have developed with my fat loss lifestyle has pretty much kept me in the same size of clothes for 5 years.

The very fact that one meal or a few meals doesn’t derail me, doesn’t change my physique too drastically. Sometimes all I need to do is make a few adjustments, or a lot of adjustments, using my knowledge and experience with my own body. When you are on a fat loss journey it is not linear, it can be hard and not predictable. (I believe a quote from Dr. Jade Teta)

With the idea that I know it is not linear and I can’t always go back to square one, or where I started,  adjustments are made to my exercises, eating and/or resting, based on what I have been personally working on over the years. The trial and errors taught me that my body needs a lot of protein, lots of veggies and lifting weights. I do well with some starchy carbs and good fats as well. Yes it can be that simple.

There are many levels of the Atkins, Paleo and whole food diets that can work, however the key deciding factor for me is seeing the lasting results I want and the ability to maintain those results. Let’s be honest some diet plans actually are very similar in their principles, eat more lean protein, eat plenty of green leafy veggies, have some starches (some call carbs) and some good fats.

Now the key is finding pieces of all of these and getting them to work for you. And make sure that it is not so complicated that it makes you miserable and quit.

Take responsibility for ME!
“A plan is not necessarily unhealthy, but falling in love with the plan is the real neurosis.” Dr. Wayne Dyer

OH BOY!! Okay so here we go, it was all up to me to decide whether I wanted to “follow” or not. But in the end it was my decision to “follow” or not, it was and always is MY CHOICE and MY RESPONSIBILITY to do ME! As Dr. Dyer says, “falling in the love with the plan is the real neurosis” because guess what sometimes the plan doesn’t go as “planned”.

Does that mean we lose our SH&* over it? Blaming everything and everyone including the universe, it’s just not fair? Or do we get busy and “FIGURE IT OUT”?! The best thing I have done to help me jump off my neurosis of loving this “plan” or that “plan” was take an inventory of myself and what I needed to do to “figure it out” for me!

Does that mean that I don’t take advice from anyone or try something new?? NOPE

Just means I decide for me whether I want to try a “plan” or not. But, in the end I also know I need to take responsibility for whatever results, consequences or outcomes may happen with that “plan”.

Is this tough love or as I see it, is this a truly lovingly way to look at reality?! YOU DECIDE

Every week I talk about what I have learned and offer up some advice to help if you feel like you have been on a roller coaster ride for far too long.

My inner circle email group gets weekly emails with my advice on taking responsibility for how to create their best plan. If that is what you are looking for then join the group Sign up here

About the Author Jennifer

I am helping women change their story they play in their head everyday. You should never resign yourself if you are not living your true self and purpose. As a female entrepreneur and fitness professional, My own story has many ups and downs which started more than 33 years ago as a 12 year old bullied for her big butt. My 12 year old self started her own personal plan, started the fire and the uphill climb to overcome her imperfect self. The plot and the story thickened when my body gave out on me in my 20's diagnosed with fibromyalgia and hypothyroidism As a worn down just barely married woman, I needed to reclaim my youth through weight lifting and eating for me. It took those health issues to help me find my way back to rewrite my story. I use this journey and personal experiences of many ups and downs in health, to work right beside my clients to help them achieve their best self. Today I work right beside the women I meet to teach them that they do count and they do have a purpose.

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