“If I don’t get in my work out today I am going to lose it!”
“What do you mean, what type of mood am I going to be in after I eat “that”?
‘OH No, You know, I can’t eat that because I didn’t work out today.”
These words are OH SO familiar to me!
This has been a huge struggle for me. I hated the fact that I would have “resting bitch” attitude just based on how I was feeling about my eating, exercise and overall body image at that particular moment. It irritated the crap out of me when someone would be tentative about talking to me or not sure how to approach me, especially when I wasn’t being “good” or in my mind “perfectly on plan”.
Can’t say I am so evolved I still don’t struggle with this.
My stress outlet is exercise; is and has been exercise for quite some time. And I know I still have my go to work out to relieve my guilt, stress and shame for my “bad” behaviors. Yet what I realized with using exercise for my stress reliever it was causing me to stress out even more.
This is how it would go in my mind..
What do I do if I can’t get in my work out? Wait I ate that meal knowing that I was going to work it off in my workouts this week! And now you are telling me I can’t workout, WHAT??? CRAP!!
But what do you mean I can’t workout, that is my stress reliever, I have to work out, you don’t understand I NEED IT!!!
Yep!! Nothing wrong with using exercise as an outlet. And as long as I can still move I am going to exercise, I will not deny it, and I won’t apologize for that fact. Yet I know that whether I get in my workouts or not, should not be how I treat myself or the world around me. There is something to be said about wanting to take care of myself, but at the expense of the world around me?
So what I have had to learn to do is LET IT GO, it is okay to not work out but it is not okay to be a petulant child, taking it out on the world around me.
So What, if I ate a cookie or two, or drank a glass or bottle of wine!! As a seeker to be better, especially in this crazy world, I realized if I don’t show up in my world being better (trying to be my best), then something has got to change. How can I claim to tell someone it is okay that they missed their workout, ate a cookie or box of cookies and I am not telling myself it is okay?
As a woman who wants to help other woman with their struggles, I am going to tell you right here and now, I TOTALLY GET IT! That is a struggle that I have been working on myself. Look if I can’t “control” my eating and workouts, then the rest of my life is considered “out of my control”, right? Or is it? Am I a fraud, or am I a real person just like you that “GET’S IT”! No judgement, I totally get it!
It is a real eye opener when your friends and family know that your attitude and mood can depend on how you are feeling about yourself after you ate, worked out, etc. It bothered me when Mike said to me often “Did you work out today?”, and my answer “Why?”.
Ah ha moment hit me, I was making my life somewhat obsessive about getting in all my workouts. I used it as my excuse that I couldn’t do anything else, why?
Because I didn’t get in my work out?! Is this me giving myself permission, to just ditch taking care of myself? NOPE, it is me telling you that I take care of myself so I can be a better me. So when I am a nasty a@$hole to myself or anyone else because I did ditch, I am not being a better me.
Want to know what I do to help myself cope now?
Again I have to say these are some ways that I have found to cope.
Is this one of your struggles? Would love to hear all about it on my Face Book page.
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